


You found me~

by x3_NaWnOmSchnuff



Category: Pandora Hearts
Genre: And don't even know how, Angst, Feels, Gil and Oz are too cute, Gil hits Break, Gil is drunk, Hate me if you want to, Love, M/M, Songfic, it's pure angst in the end, the drunken party, to deal with their love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-20
Updated: 2017-03-20
Packaged: 2018-10-08 08:09:27
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,938
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10382292
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/x3_NaWnOmSchnuff/pseuds/x3_NaWnOmSchnuff
Summary: In which Gil is drunk, Oz is an angel and Break some sort of a shameless bastard.(Songfic to 'You found me')





	

**Author's Note:**

> I'm german so pls don't hate me if the grammar is wrong somewhere. xD Pls tell me if it is. I'll change it then. ^^ I hope you like my fic! :3

I found God   
On the corner of First of Amistad  
Where the west  
Was all but won  
All alone  
Smoking his last cigarette  
I said „Where you been?“  
He said, „Ask anything.“

„And because of this... please tell me about the last ten years!“  
The beautiful emerald green of his eyes disappeared as he turned around. I gazed at his back.  
Something inside me broke because of the sound of his voice and again, I began to cry like a baby.  
Break, this bastard, stood next to me. He was smiling mercylessly and I wanted to hit him or something like this.  
I hated him.  
But why does Oz want this?   
I really couldn't tell him that I killed people.  
For his sake.  
Then he ran away, leaving me alone on the balcony.  
It was cold, the wind was blowing and a few orange and red leaves were floating through the dark sky.  
It was the beginning of autumn and the taste of red vine was still on my tongue.  
My head got a little bit clearer. But it still was foggy, like the forest near the horizon.  
The fog was coming into our direction, so very white and it swallowed everything.  
Also the night.  
A few rays of the sun tried to break through, but they failed.  
Break jumped onto the railing.  
„You're afraid that Oz changes, aren't you?“

Where were you  
When everything was falling apart?  
All my days  
Were spent by the telphone  
That never rang  
And all I needed was a call  
That never came  
From the corner of First and Amistad

I looked at him, it took me a lot of time until I understood the meaning of this sentence.  
And then it destroyed my bones, slowly, and the pain reached my heart and a shiver went down my spine.  
I was very afraid, not only a bit.  
Because he wouldn't need me anymore.   
And I needed someone to need me, without this, there was no sense in my whole life.  
What sould I do?  
I really craved for someone who could tell me what to do, who could just hold me without asking what was wrong.  
And Oz always could.  
But his situation now was only my fault.  
I made so much mistakes and still wanted him for me? Only for me?  
What great person I am.  
I stood up tipsy and I felt like I had to throw up, but I didn't care.  
„Afraid... thatoz... cha...?“ I couldn't end my sentence because of a hiccup. „That he... changes?“  
Break looked at me for brief moment, as if he didn't believe me, then he snorted contemptuously and left the balcony too.  
„Hey... Break... Waid!“, I told him and as he turned around, I really hit him.  
Everybody always says that you can see the real feelings if you drink alcohol.  
And I can only tell that this is right.  
He just looked at me with that cold gaze, then he grabbed my hand.  
„Hold back yourself, Raven.“  
I could feel the tears again.  
„I... I just... dun wanna losim...!“  
He just snorted again. „You really are dumb. You can't force him to feel the same way.“  
Break knew it and probably he knew it the whole time.  
„But... I... I love him...“  
„Yeah? And if he doesn't love you, it is how it is. Don't you dare complain about something like this.“  
Then he slapped me and I sank slowly – and laughing – onto the floor.  
„Miss Sharon? You should go to sleep. In your bed, not on the sofa.“  
The girl smiled a little while sleeping and only grumbled quietly, as Break carried her to her room, glaring a last glance at me.  
And then I understood what he meant, and that I shouldn't complain, and I know that he was right.

Lost and insecure  
You found me, you found me  
Lying on the floor  
Surrounded, surrounded  
Why'd you have to wait?  
Where were you? Where were you?  
Just a little late  
You found me, you found me

 

„Oh, Oz, can you bring Raven to his room?“  
...Can't he just call me Gilbert, or Gil?  
But wait... Oz?!  
My heart started pounding louder and I was afraid that I was going to tell him, because I really wanted to.  
And I was drunk.  
I didn't want to keep it a secret. But I really should.  
„Gil? Is everything ok?“  
I looked at him and he saw that my face was red, because of Break slapping me and he sighs.  
„Did you have an argument with Break?“  
He sank to his knees in front of me and petted my head.  
„Yes... but... he was right...“  
He was confused.  
„Hey, Gil. Don't worry so much 'bout me. I'm ok.“  
He's ok. And I was egoistic enough for wanting him to feel bad, so that I could help him.  
But to be honest, I was just useless.

In the end  
Everyone ends up alone  
Losing her   
The only one who's ever known  
Who I am  
Who I'm not and who I want to be  
No way to know  
How long she will be next to me

„Oz... I... I have to tell you... something... a... second thing...“, I babbled and fell against him.  
I was just a burden to him. He couldn't be happy if I was there.  
„No. Gil, it's ok. The thing with my father. Everything's alright. And... I also know, that you don't want... that I cange. I know this. But you can stay with me. It... would be empty without you.“  
I laid my head down on his chest and he pulled me into a hug.  
He was warm.  
So unbelievable warm.  
Have I ever been so near to him?  
I guess not.  
I love him, since the day I first saw him.  
And I want more. Not only this hug. I want to kiss him.  
I grumble a bit.  
„But... if you're ok... then... you dun need me and... I dun wanna be use...less...!“  
Tears ran down my cheeks, as he rumpled my hair again.  
„Hey, Gil...“

Early morning  
The city breaks  
I've been calling  
For years and years and years  
And you never left me no messages  
You never sent me no letters  
You got some kind of nerve  
Taking all I want

„I... just dunn wanna... so alone and Break is so right, he feels worse... but... but... I don't feel good anyway! I mean... I mean... Break and... Sharon, but... meh and you... this also can't be and...“  
Oz grabbed my shoulders and looked at me.  
„What are you talking about?“  
„Yeah... Break... and Sharon... they love each other!“  
Oz was more confused than ever.  
„I know... I'm drunk but... didn't you realize dis?“  
He shook his head. „Sorry, Gil. I can't even imagine this. Break... with somebody... just no.“  
„But...! Break will die soon... and they. Love. Each. Other.“  
I just felt... so pitiful for them. They love each other and he will die.  
„And... the other part? With... you and me?“  
I stared at him and blushed. His breath is unsteady and he was also a bit blushing.  
He was so damn beautiful.  
I take his face into my hands.  
„Hey... Gil! You're stinking...! The alcohol...!“  
I just continued looking into his eyes and somehow I forgot his question.

Lost and insecure  
You found me, you found me  
Lying on the floor  
Where were you, where were you?

He also didn't say anything, but he was watching the fog outside and then he let go of me, but I didn't.  
„Stay with me Oz... Please.“  
He sighed.  
„I'm tired.“  
„Please... I'm afraid...!“  
He laughs. It was a shaky, but mischievous laughter.   
„And that's the reason why I should go.“  
„But... I want... you to need me... and...!“ I can't speak anymore, I just want him to stay here.   
„Gi-“  
„You're so damn beautiful, you know?“, I breathed, as a first ray of sun broke the fog, the light surrounding him like an angel.  
„No. You're seeing ghosts.“  
I shook my head. „No, I'm seeing an angel, right in front of me. Can I please kiss you? Pleeeeaase?“  
I broke down and bursted out into tears.  
„Gil... you have already said that... with you and me... we just shouldn't.“  
My heart broke into a thousand pieces, I let go of him and stood up.  
„Oooooooz!“, I cried out and fell to the floor again.  
I hated what the alcohol did with me.  
„But... I love you! Please! Can't you just love me back? I know, I'm also a man, but... this doesn't matter anyway!“  
I pulled my knees to my body and laid my head down on them.  
Then I heard Oz, who was slowly walking over to me.

Lost and insecure  
You found me, you found me  
Lying on the floor  
Surrounded, surrounded  
Why'd you have to wait?  
Where were you, where were you?  
Just a little late  
You found me, you found me.

And as he pulled me to himself, my tears and my crying just got worse. It was even worse than a little child.  
I will never drink alcohol again.  
„Gil... calm down.“  
There were his hand on my body and his chin on my hairs.  
„Damn... Oz, you are the most wonderful person I know... and you're so beautiful... I love your eyes!“  
I had to inhale.  
„I... I fell in love with you the first time I saw you... And I'm sorry I fell in love with you... and you can hate me!“  
He just gasped and didn't do anything at all.  
Then he pushed me away and my brain just turned off.  
„I can't be the greatest person in the world, when you are.“  
I forgot to breath.  
I felt his lips on mine and something inside of me exploded.  
I got goosebumps and I pressed myself onto him, his back hit the floor and the kiss ended.  
But I just kiss him again and again, I needed him and his lips.  
„Oz...“, I whisper.  
„Everything's ok, Gilbert. Everything's ok. I love you. But we shouldn't.“  
I ignored his word and pressed my lips onto his again.  
„Hey, Gil... before someone sees us...“, he says and my tears fell down onto his face  
„I'm... sorry...“, I tried to say, but it was a mixture of words and strange sounds.  
„No. Everything's ok. But we shouldn't. The same with Sharon and Break, ok? We just shouldn't.“

Why'd you have to wait  
To find me, to find me?

 

I awoke crying.  
When I remembered the dream, I just began to laugh.  
It would be so wonderful if it really had been like the dream.  
Sharon and Reim were standing next to the window, Ada was laying next to me, her eyes wide opened.  
We all slept in this room.  
On this day, nobody of us wanted to be alone.   
They all were buried.  
They weren't here anymore.  
Uncle Oscar, Eliot, Alice, Break and Oz.  
All my lights had faded away.  
Reim pulls Sharon into a hug, she trembled and had a little picture of Break in her hands.  
The shining moon showed her and Adas tears.  
„We just... have to wait. We will see them again“, I whisper, Sharon looked at me.  
She was pale and didn't eat enough.  
„I... loved him.“  
„I also loved someone“, I tell them.  
„But... now they are... not here. We just have to believe we will see them again. You're strong. Everyone of you.“  
I grabbed Adas hand and in the next moment I drifted into sleep, in the same dream I had before.

**Author's Note:**

> sorrynotsorry for this ending


End file.
